Halfway through August already?!!

Wow it's been a while and there are so many things that have happened and going on. Where to start and what to say? Well the girls are in school and Natalie has now started Kindergarten. She loves it and thinks she needs to go every single day of the week. She got dressed on Saturday, woke me up, then proceeded to tell me that I had to get her off to school. Ugh, so much for sleeping in right? I had to tell her that she goes every WEEK day and not everyday. She likes her teacher and is always coming home singing new songs. She gets to bring Bread and Butter to school tomorrow since the letter this week is "B". I thought I might throw in some "B"lack "B"erry Jam to go with it; I think it will make her more excited. Katija and Leah are continuing in school and doing well. I met with the IEP program people yesterday for Katija to discuss a more useful plan to deal with her learning disability. I really have to fight for her because a)I'm the only one that will and b) Because of the type of disability she has, she would slip through the cracks and go unnoticed or labeled as someone who "needs to apply herself". I think it went well and I'll be following up with them - if I'm known for anything, persistence would be one of them :). Leah is working on mastering her addition and subtraction tables, it helps Mom brush up on them too. I still can't believe she is reading!! She is doing very well with it, it is fun to watch her read. She just checked out a really neat book that is a pop up book on Dinosaurs. It is so detailed, I can only imagine how I would have felt at 7 seeing a book like that. She is determined to keep it as long as they will let her :). That is the 411 on school.

Eliza has decided that she wants to start talking - since her side kick is MIA half of the day. So instead she stays right by me asking me questions, telling me things, and talking in sentences I didn't know she had in her! I will look at her and think, "Where did you come up with that?". At dinner a few days ago I was telling Chad he has 5 little U of U fans. He didn't belive me and tried to prove it with Eliza - but she wouldn't budge. I said to her, "Eliza, do you like Utah or BYU?"; she said, "UTAH!". Chad then said something about her not getting any candy, I of course scolded him saying you can't bribe them to like BYU - that's cheating! Eliza then stood up on her chair at the dinner table and in her not so quiet voice says, "Caden, do you like Utah or BYU?" and with her arms held way above her head she yelled, "UTAH!!". I of course was laughing and a very proud Mom, while Chad was left shaking his head saying they were traitors :). The following night at the store she said she wanted, "Utah Jammies"; I told her they didn't have Utah Jammies. She said, "Well, you have to find them"; I told her I didn't see them in the store and we would have to look another time. As we were passing another isle she said, "See, go that way and look for jammies". Even with her determination we didn't find any, but she still talks about it. She is Caden's buddy and is very helpful now that she is the "big" sister, she takes it very seriously. She follows Caden around and makes sure he isn't touching things, but he has learned she does NOT like her hair touched/pulled. He doesn't even do it hard, it is done for the scream he can get out of her - although they do play together and she can get some really fun laughs out of him.

Caden is now walking, talking, off the bottle, and really turning into a boy over night. He went in for his year appt and is doing so well. Since we got him every time we take him in for his well-baby visits the height/weight ratio gets closer and he gets taller. He started 25% - Height, 75% - Weight @ 6 months; then it was 75% - H, 80% - W @ 9 months. At his year check up he was 85% - H and 65% - W; he is getting so big and is now in 2T clothing. He started "really" walking on Sunday and is progressing further everyday. He keeps adding words and even actions too - he waves bye bye, claps his hands when you say "Yay", lifts his hands in the air when you say "Tada", sways back and forth when you say dance or he hears music, blows on his food if it is hot (or copies you if you are doing it). He'll slap or hit whatever it is you said, "No touching" to, just fast enough to see your reaction; and has a look he gives you when he gets in trouble or you tell him no, he also comes up to you and lays his head on you and says, "Aww" to give you "loves", he tries to blow on a whistle and can now use a straw. He is so funny and keeps us laughing - I do try not to let him see me laughing when he is being naughty, but it is more funny than destructive - you have to be able to laugh to be a Mom. His words are now Dada, Mama (he says it now - but not on demand), Leah, Kati (Kaw-tee, for Katija), Nana (for Natalie), No No, Uh Oh, Ickkk, What's that, What is it?, Ahhhhh (especially when I am putting lotion on him), Huh?, and he'll blow when I'm putting hairspray in his hair (mimicking the sound it makes).

Chad is busy with work and I don't think that will ever change. There is never a lack of crime that is for sure, so I see that continuing. He hasn't come out and said it, but having a part of his wife/old life back has helped him decompress. The laundry/dishes/straightening fairy is returning - I can't complain, I like having her back too :). Caden definitely keeps him laughing and it is neat to see both their faces light up when they see each other when he gets home.

As for me I'm feeling better, but it comes and goes. I will be doing well and then have a kind of set back day. I have to change my way of thinking and deal with it all day by day. If it is a tired/hot day, I have to let it happen and do what I can without over doing it. It's hard when you are feeling well to not go overboard with all the things you should/could/want to do - I have to focus on one thing and then gradually add another. I've been focusing on laundry since it's been Oct 06 since I've felt well enough to get to the bottom of a basket - this makes for A LOT of catch up. If I managed even one I couldn't keep it up for more than a few days. It has now been about 2 wks and there are many empty baskets :)- I knew I had a short sleeve black shirt...now I know where it is! The girls keep saying, "I'm tired of putting laundry away"; I simply say, "Do you want to wash and dry it instead?" - they quickly get to putting the clothes away. I had about 5 days where I didn't feel hot and managed to amazingly enough... NOT sweat through my clothes!! It was SO nice and aided to the realization of how horrible this has made me feel. It makes me feel so tired, dizzy, nauseated, mentally my brain wouldn't turn off about all the things I needed to do - but physically I couldn't do anything about it, and doing the simplest of things made me short of breath in such a short period of time. When I over heat I have to sit down before I pass out or fall over from the disorientation from the shaking and fast heart rate. This made all the things I started short lived. I appreciate the days I can taste "normal" and look forward to them staying around. I will hopefully hear back from my ENDO this week and have a blood test done to check my levels - then I can start any needed Rx, this should help regulate my body and help me feel better. I appreciate all the prayers and help sent our way - know we pray for all of you - you're not forgotten (even when I don't keep the best contact at times).

The last Lance wedding...

In May of this year Chad's youngest brother married a wonderful girl and made the Lance's complete and joined the ranks of us old and married people. I'm sure they would love it if I asked..."So when are you going to join the ranks of Married With Children?". All the Lance kids are married and it's nice to see how happy our newly weds are. Also, Mom and Dad Lance are finally empty nesters, they've waited a long time for this :). It was a beautiful day and we are so happy for them. Oh and our kids were SO adorable. I only have the pics I could get from other family members blogs, there are others of our kids and a better family picture and when I get copies I'll add them. The Family photo is horrible of me, I seem to be the only adult not looking at the camera and making a weird face. I think a family member took this before the photographer so I wasn't in my pose yet :). The thing that is even more funny is that Natalie looks like she is making the same face, what can I say she looks a lot like me. It just gets lost in the Lance coloring, Katija looks a lot like me as a child just darker. I am grateful for the Lance eyelashes though they always make any kids eyes sparkle. Eliza stalked the photographer, I tried to keep her away but they seemed to always find her...sorry Jordan and Meredith :)!

Eliza just waiting for a camera with her sisters in the background - they're holding her back :)


Jordan trying to avoid a hernia by holding two almost one year olds, Caden was 23 lbs @10 months in that pic


Aunt Meredith spinning with Eliza, they're both princesses Eliza says


The happy couple


Eliza stealing more of the spotlight


Our nephew Corbin trying to sneak a peek inside the temple



Caden was obsessed with the mirrors at the reception center, he's giving himself kisses - look at him I don't blame him he's SO cute *smooch*


The Family Photo - Eliza LOVES Aunt Meredith and Uncle Jordan it's hard to keep her away


The Patriarch of the Family aka Grandpa Lance

Chad's younger sister's boys Jackson and Corbin

Sentimental thoughts and things keeping me awake...

My mind is full of things and if I get them out I can sleep even better right? I have something that is occupying my mind right now. I just found out my best friend who is getting married is moving out of state in the next 3wks and I'm a little shell shocked. I knew it was happening, it's just...it's happening! I figured it would be after the wedding but it is before so I have even less time then I thought before she moves. I'll miss her terribly and not seeing her every week is going to be really hard. We talk everyday, but the thought of not being able to go and see her, or her showing up at my door just because to lend a helping hand, or having a girls night with her on a whim is an adjustment. We are both always there for each other and will drop anything to help the other even if it is taking the other out when we need to get away, or watching each other's kids for some alone time with the men in our lives. We've been through so much together and we've helped each other through some really tough times. She has been so helpful to me and my family and we have a special place for her in our hearts. My kids love her and call her aunt because she is like a sister to me and were shocked to learn that her boys are not technically their cousins :) - Katija has expressed her feelings about the move, "It's not going to be the same". Even though our hearts are hurting I'm so happy for her, she deserves this happiness, she's been through so much...it's time for her piece of the pie. I know this is what she is suppose to do and this will bring her happiness; I wouldn't be able to cope if I didn't know this. I'm excited for her to experience this change, happy for the family they will be uniting, and want her to know I send her off with all my love and support. I wish her the best of luck with everything that is coming and can't wait to watch this new story unfold. If only you all could know her as I do. Your lives would be blessed and changed for the better, forever, the way mine has. I'm in awe of her kindness, and aim for her patience; she has truly been an angel sent to me from above. I know the Lord uses others as intruments to answer people's prayers and she has always been an answer to mine. Please know I love you Steph and when you leave I'll be counting the days before I see you again! Enjoy this, you deserve it!

As I mentioned the girls started school, well Katija and Leah at the moment - Natalie will start Kindergarten on Tues August 5th. That's right 3 in school...I don't know the last time I had only two children at home? How will that be? If I can find a preschool for Eliza, I haven't decided, it will be just me and my little man CADEN!! We could take a full nap with no interruptions - I feel giddy all the sudden. Okay all joking aside, I can't believe how much our children have grown. I can't believe that my babies are all technically not babies anymore. Katija is 9, Leah is 7, Natalie is 5, Eliza is 3, and Caden our little man is now ONE! When did all this happen, they're suppose to stay small, innocent, and not able to talk back right :)? As our girls get older I can't believe the big girls and wonderful young ladies they are becoming. With Caden I can't believe he is one years old and all the developmental milestones he's reached; he is becoming a little boy right before our eyes, it's amazing - I just wish he'd slow it down a bit :). I remember each of the girls pregnancies and births - how surreal it was to see them for the first time. With Caden just turning one my mind reflects on his journey, the process that brought us to adoption and ultimately to Caden. I remember the first time we saw Caden and brought him home. I will never forget how he lit up when he saw us; we've been told he had never lit up like that until he saw us for the first time. I remember my heart was racing, it had been a long day. The Holy Ghost had been so strong that day, I feel as though it had followed me all day long. The Holy Ghost was there that day - I know it, this is how I knew our forever friend would pick Chad and I to be Caden's parents. Three hours after that witness our agency called to tell us she DID pick us and we had a son waiting to meet us later that night. As we walked into the house there to greet us were smiling faces, when our forever friend walked around the couch holding this beautiful little baby boy and handed him right to me. You're never prepared to see them for the first time, you try to picture how they will look, but you can't - it's all in slow motion and like a dream. We were strangers really, but he responded to us as if he knew us and had seen us a million times. I of course was eying him, silently counting his fingers and toes, checking him up and down praying he was healthy and to my relief he was perfectly healthy in every way - it was no surprise given the wonderful care he had been given by our forever friend. I was taken by his eyes, they sparkled when he smiled and they seemed to glow; there was something familiar about this little one I held in my arms. I could tell he knew his Dad right away; Chad had him giggling in seconds and Caden couldn't keep his eyes off of him or stop smiling. When I saw the way Chad looked at him, I knew this was his boy! I had seen that look before, it is how Chad looks at our daughters and this was no different. I was comforted by the instant connection both Chad and I had for him and he with us. I held him in my arms in awe of how we were even here and the miracle after miracle that brought us to Him and an amazing forever friend who did for us the most selfless of all things...she gave us a piece of her heart. As soon as I saw his chubby hand with the crease at his wrist and the chubby forearm that followed I knew this was the little boy waiting to join our family. I had seen that hand before in an almost out of body experience. The day Caden was sealed to us I saw that image once again...the chubby hand with the crease at the wrist and the chubby arm that followed was on his Daddy's shoulder as they walked in front of me into the Temple. I will never forget the image of his hand with the crease at the wrist, it's forever burned to memory - it's this that made me start looking for our son. I'm still in awe when I look at him, I see our forever friend in Caden's smile. Funny enough I see myself in the color of Caden's eyes, his pasty white skin, his love and recognition of music and tools, and my father's same build; I see Chad in the shape of his eyes, the profile of his nose, his instant need for a nap and his goof ball sense of humor. He is a part of all of us, meant for our family and part of all our earthly missions we agreed to before this life. Each of us has learned something from this experience and we are better people because of it - I'm grateful to be a part of it. My heart is filled with indescribable joy when Caden notices me in the corner of his eye and instantly cries for me because he wants his mommy; then lays his head on my chest to be close to me. I love to see the look on Caden's face and hear the sounds he makes when he sees or even hears his sisters coming; he looks for them when I say their names and lights up when he finds them. I love the look on the girls faces when they try to make him laugh and even more when they succeed; he has so much of them in him - he is a part of them too and I can't imagine our life without every single one of them. I loved holding the girls for the first time and now that they're older, I love the times they slow down enough to snuggle with me - what a magical experience. I know I didn't give birth to Caden, I didn't get to feel him move inside of me; I thank our forever friend for doing that for us, words could never describe our gratitude. I feel I've known Caden long before his birth, he has been a part of my heart for so long. When I hold him close to me my body and soul ache in witness - because now...I can finally hold him in the flesh.

Surgery Success!

Well I survived and live to tell the tale :) - I thank my Heavenly Father. I had surgery and it was a success as of right now, I'll know more in a few weeks. If you had asked me 3 or 5 days ago how I survived I would have said I thought I was going to die. It is amazing to me how much something so small controls your body. The surgery went well with no real complications, my thyroid was the size of an orange (think of your fist) when it is suppose to be around the size of a ping pong ball. I now know why there was so much pressure in my throat/neck, my throat is still a little dry/sore and with the left over swelling food still gets hung up in there - not nearly as bad though. My mom said I looked like I lost 10 lbs just by how much thinner my neck looks, and seeing the sealing pictures I didn't realize how high up my thyroid went and how fluffy (nice word for fat) it made my neck look; why didn't anyone tell me? There are parts of my neck I haven't seen in quite a while, my collar bones are coming back! My voice even sounds a little bit higher, so all you choir singers watch out - choir is coming back with a vengeance (in a Christlike way :)). I had the surgery on Friday the 18th (Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad) and was released on Sunday night. I really wanted to be home to hold my son for his birthday, I think I pushed a little more then I should have. I didn't do very well the first 5 days home, I think had I been more patient I wouldn't have been released until Tues. That's water under the bridge and I'm still glad I got to hold Caden at home on his birthday. Your thyroid is next to your parathyroid glands and they control the electrolytes, calcium, and other levels in your blood. Those in turn effect your muscles and even your heart. I kept having this shaking feeling where it felt like my body was shaking horribly on the inside but didn't show on the outside. It was almost like being dizzy and disoriented coming off a merry-go-round. My head would be still but it felt like I was rocking back and forth and side to side. After some research and a trip to the ER I realized I needed to take some supplements for Potassium, Magnesium and Calcium. Taking those supplements and adding Gatorade made a big difference and I was feeling so much better. No matter how much water I drank my mouth still felt dry, I couldn't stay hydrated and ended up dehydrated in the ER. I've never been dehydrated especially after a surgery because of the amount of water I drink. It was the fact that I couldn't maintain my electrolytes and other levels alone so I needed more than just water. After about 5+ days of this I am fine now without anything, I think my body is figuring it out. Once the shaking stopped I could stand up and my muscles started responding instead of giving out on me. I was finally able to sleep and got 7.5 hrs of sleep for the first time in over a week. Then the next day I slept a little over 10 hrs, this is definitely what my body needed and it helped me start feeling better. I over did it of course because of the increase in energy and day three of feeling better was a step backward (this was 10 days post op). Monday was the girls first day of school and I was feeling well even driving, I had driven once before this but still felt a little disoriented and turning my head around to back up the van almost made me puke. I drove the van alone and out of desperation because I needed a Rx and Chad had been to the store a million times and needed a serious break to avoid meltdown. So I said a prayer and ran to Walmart which is exactly 1.0 miles clocked from my house, who knew a 30 min trip could be so exhausting? But Monday was a different and better day, I even walked to and from the school 3 round trips and hung 3 baby gates in addition to some housework. By 4 o'clock I was exhausted but finally felt victory and satisfaction for my accomplishments at the end of a day. It's been a long time since I've been well enough to do all of that and still be able to wake up early the next day. I did play the next day safe and tried to keep it to a minimal with anything...my body appreciated that. I'm really trying to pace myself and not over do it. I do that a lot because with the Lyme I would have a good day and did anything and everything I could so if it wasn't going to last very long I could have some things done. But the days that the fatigue set in I think they were worse because I did too much too fast. I'm practicing at keeping a balance and doing things in moderation, but I'm still learning. I still can tell my body needs rest, I just have to remind myself it has only been 1.5 wks since surgery; it can't come back imediately and all at once. Lord, please grant me patience...I really need it NOW!

I'm sorry to say I don't have any pics of my neck, I wasn't steady enough to take them. And Chad didn't have the stomach to take them. It is healing nicely now and I hope the scab is gone in the next week - I can hope. It is a bit tender at times, but over all the incision wasn't too painful; just for the first 4 days (I had a reaction to the steri strips). I haven't been on any Narcotics in about a week and I am Ibprophen free too!! I'm taking fewer Rx and pills, it's easier to keep track of it all. The best thing I have noticed this far is that I am sleeping so much better - the insomnia is getting better but I also sleep deeper. I know it is really late now, but I wanted to blog something and give you an update.

It's official!!

I just got the okay from my ENDO about my surgery. Since they have me on the max amount of beta blockers and such a high dose of anti-thyroid meds and my levels are where they are he says the surgery needs to be done. My thyroid is toxic basically and since it is attacking itself and not responding to meds this is my option w/out doing the radioactive iodine. I am so relieved to hear that we can finally move forward and I just want it out, and as I say that I can feel my thyroid throbbing! I am anxious to get it out, but not excited for the pain - I don't know how you prepare for that? I will keep you all posted, and after Friday I'm not sure when I will start updating the blog. Caden's Birthday is on the 20th of July (this Sunday) so we will be celebrating it later, most likely the next week. I'll post those pictures and maybe some of my surgery neck oooohhh (I know my sister and bro-in-law will think they're cool). I'll check back later and I hope that you all are well. I've fixed it so that you can post comments - or at least I think I did. If you have any problems let me know and I will work at it again. I am still figuring this all out; I've spent most of the day working on this. It's like scrap booking but easier :), my sister just gagged I think ;).

My Surgery...

Okay so I have surgery scheduled for Friday to remove my thyroid; about 2 months ago I was diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism caused from Graves Disease. It has taken on it's own life and I am ready to reclaim mine!! I had my labs done yesterday and it wasn't great news. My levels have changed (which is what we are trying to do), but very little if at all. My TSH that we are trying to bring up, went from less than 0.01 to less than 0.06; my T4 went from 2.38 to 2.25 (the high on this test is about 1.75). My ENT didn't order this test I actually ordered it from my ENDO, to see how the meds were working. I did it as a, "hey see you can do surgery." Instead it has turned into, "hey see my meds aren't working; PLEASE do the surgery anyways" :( I'm very frustrated, but hopeful they will still do the surgery, because I think I'm going to loose my mind with all the symptoms. I'm so not myself and for the first time in I think ever Chad is finally routing for the surgery and "wants his wife back". I feel so bad for him and want the light at the end of the tunnel. I've had 10 surgeries counting this one and 8 of them while we've been married. He asked last night..."When is this going to be over". My response is what I want it to be..."After this". Oh please I pray it is, I think I'm ready to learn things in a different way; surgery isn't always the answer :).

I don't want to sound like I'm addicted to surgery (okay family stop laughing); it's just that this has been the most miserable I've felt in a long time if ever. In all the research I've done it says that if you don't respond to the anti-thyroid meds that they get your levels as balanced as they can and just do the surgery. I am crossing my fingers and hoping that after I talk to my ENDO today that I will feel better that the surgery will be a go. I am leaving talking to my ENT till last so that I have all my ducks in a row before I talk to him. He never mentioned a test, so I feel sneaky in not telling him, but I don't rock the boat. Oh curse you THYROID!! I have ROID RAGE, it's just the other kind :). I'll let you know what I find out, keep your fingers crossed, and arms folded!

Our Adoption Profile...

Here is a copy of our Adoption Profile...

Our Sealing...

For all those who haven't heard and well for those of you that have...Caden was sealed to our family on May 10th, 2008. It was such a neat experience for us; the girls were able to attend and witness it - it was quite the feeling to watch all our children walk in wearing white. They looked like such angels - even when Eliza kept talking in not so quiet tones :). I thought I would share the pictures of that day, I know I will never forget it.






Here we are getting ready to exit the temple as an eternal family!!



There are many pictures with the girls in the fountain, it was quite the attraction.















Caden kept making this shy face, he enjoyed all the attention :), but had to pull this face for the cute factor!



Good hands Chad, Caden is going for the hair





Here is someone we will never forget or ever be able to repay, she is our forever friend



Here's Caden's Maternal Birth Grandfather with his wife





Daddy playing Caden like a guitar...



Grandma, Oma and Natalie...



This is one of my favorites, this is my Dad (Opa) holding Caden outside the temple. They look a lot alike and have very similar builds, it makes me laugh and know this was meant to be.



Flying Caden...





Grandpa is holding Eliza's sash so she doesn't tumble into the fountain, good eye grandpa!



Caden isn't too sure about the grass, in fact he doesn't like it at all!









Here Caden is thinking about the grass...



And now he has decided that he doesn't like it at all...



Here's my best friend Stephanie holding Caden...



Aww here is a little snuggle...

Caden's First Words and Other Talents...

Well Caden is talking but here is my frustration :). He will say Dada, Baba, Uh oh, and get this...LEAH!! Where is MAMA?!! He won't say it, if I say to him, "say Mama", he'll say, "Dada". What a way to break my heart; he is a mama's boy who can't say Mama, what is the deal? I've figured out what Leah means, it's not just for Leah, Leah means sister. Whenever he sees his sister's he says Leah. Being the easiest name to say, it was a given as to who's name he would say first. If he says Katija before Mama...I'm giving up :). Uh oh is a new word and it is so funny how he says it; his lips are SO accurate about getting it right. With his fair skin and bright lips its funny to see his mouth in that shape, with his eyes wide saying, "Uh oh". I have to say he seems very concerned.

He is crawling and pulling himself up onto furniture. He walks along furniture and will stand without help, but as soon as he realizes this, he slowly squats down to crawling position. The other funny thing is this boy has rhythm. It's so funny how he will stop dead in his tracks if he hears music. It doesn't matter what kind either, he just starts swaying to the beat. Although I do notice that classical music does get him to notice a lot faster. He doesn't even need real music, any of us can sing or hum a beat and he'll start bouncing and swaying away.

Stupid Graves Disease...

Well it's late and I'm up because I can't seem to sleep at normal hours. This thyroid thing is becoming more and more a problem. It started so simple and now it seems to run my life. I can't seem to do even the most simple of things. I over heat just walking up the stairs, getting ready in the morning, and getting the girls ready (Caden is a breeze, have I mentioned I love getting boys ready?). I have to rest every 10 min and cool down. The tremors get worse the more I do, and after being up for just about an hour doing simple housework I am shaking so bad I have to sit down. The muscle weakness Graves causes makes it hard to go up and down the stairs and I find that is why I avoid the laundry; not to mention I can't lift the weight needed to carry big baskets of laundry (from my elbow surgery). If I have the energy to get that far I find I slide the baskets down the stairs or have the girls do it in a team effort. I also have a Goiter from the Graves which is an enlarged thyroid. Swallowing anything, even water is becoming difficult. I'm choking a lot and when I lie down I feel like have something pushing on my throat and I have problems breathing. If I start to get upset because of all these symptoms it just makes the thyroid throb since all the blood just starts pumping into it - to add to all of this I can't take Ibprophen, or any blood thinner 2wks before surgery and nothing else will work! To add to all the fun with all the symptoms Graves Disease has weight loss hasn't been one of them! I guess you can have an increased appetite, but mine is decreased and that is all fine and dandy; but I've gained weight-I thought the weight loss could be the silver lining...but I haven't found it!

My surgery is scheduled for Friday and I hope that the blood tests scheduled for the 15th come back with good news and I'm given the okay for surgery. I had the surgery scheduled for the 25th of June but my thyroid was too hyper for a safe surgery. I am now on a lot of meds to help suppress the thyroid and make for a safer surgery. I was diagnosed with Graves Disease about 5wks ago. It started with a rapid heart rate and uncontrollable tremors and I ended up in the emergency room. I thought it was a symptom of stress from a surgery only done 3wks before. I thought my body had finally had enough and that my body was in shock. Well, that would explain the shaking I thought, but the heart rate I attributed to an old diagnosis of WPW. I had an abilation done 6 yrs ago, they said the chances of the extra pathway growing back were small; but then again have you met me?!! They did labs at the ER and they came back hyperthyroidism. I was pretty shocked and then they gave me the news that there were three things that were causing it and they would send a test out and I would know that answer in 3 days. It came back Graves and the more research I did the more mad I got that this was happening. Did I mention I was still recovering from a surgery just 3WKS BEFORE?!! It's times like this that I think, "Holy Cow, can I please just keep my head above water?". The only adittude I can have that keeps me sane is that this is all for my good and that I will be stronger because of it. I'm more tired then I've ever been and I didn't think that was possible after having Lyme Disease. I sleep SO much I can't believe it; my kids are SO good with it and I have to think the Lord is watching out for me by helping them. Okay my rant is over; I'm just really nervous to have yet another surgery but know this is the treatment option I'm suppose to do. I'll keep you all posted.